Stupidity or Madness

Well, this weekend, I’ve travelled over 800 miles by train and by car since leaving work on Friday night. Nothing like a relaxing weekend I hear you say and it was certainly nothing like relaxing. However, it was worth it.

Friday night, I got the train to Newcastle from Kings Cross and then onto the local train to see Michelle. That part of the trip is always worth it.

Saturday, brought a trip over to Gateshead to collect Michelle’s eldest son who had kindly agreed to look after her youngest son and the dogs whilst we drove down to Doncaster to the races there. We were staying in Barnsley where we met some friends and of course my son Tom.

Last weekend, Michelle and I had been to the racecourse in York for a cycling touring club event. On the way back, we went into a lovely little village/ town called Boroughbridge. The river there had burst its banks and was quite spectacular.




So, after the “apocalyptical rain storms” on /Thursday, we wondered how much worse the river and flooding would be this weekend. We went to the same spot in Boroughbridge as last week, expecting to find houses under water and roads blocked. Instead we found this…


Yes, the river had retreated  considerably and was some 10-15 feet lower than the pervious week. Not what we were expecting!

Anyway, onwards with our trip, and we were fortunate enough to take part in the highlight of the week for residents of Boroughbridge, the queuing up for petrol at Morrison’s’ petrol station. It seems it is a quaint local tradition that everyone parks their cars near the petrol pumps and takes as long as possible to fill up their cars. Even better if you can block access to a free pump with your car, without bothering to move to the pump yourself. Anyway, we eventually got some fuel and drove to Barnsley, checked into our Spa Hotel. I then took Michelle to the venue for meeting our friends, the local Workingmen’s Club (WMC)! no expense spared by me for Michelle’s benefit. I have to admit to feeling a twinge of guilt at taking her to a WMC when she looked so good all glammed up for the races.

Now, I know that you are probably thinking that I’m not into horse racing or gambling, so why was I going to the races? Well the reason I was there was to see


Yes, after the race meeting, Madness were to perform on a specially constructed stage. We arrived at the Races by 4:30pm just in time to see Madness who were due on stage at 9:15pm. So, what do we do in the meantime.? Yes – you’ve guessed it – drink!

We started off with a couple of bottles of beer before it was time to start on the Pimms. The idea was we’d share a pitcher between two, but I’d invite you to examine the photographic evidence


Lets start with this randomly selected couple who buy a pitcher to share. Whilst the male (lets call him John – names changed to protect people’s identities) finishes his bottle of beer, the female (lets call her Sue) finishes her bottle of beer and drinks the whole pitcher of Pimms herself


Now, this couple seem to have got it better. They are apparently sharing a pitcher of Pimms. However, in  the following picture notice what the female does when the male’s attention is distracted


Yes, as soon as the male’s attention is turned, she drinks all the Pimms.

The morals of these pictures is:

1. Woman have drink problems

2. Women will rip their partners off and steal their drinks

So, with  my alcohol stolen, I was persuaded to have a bet on a horse in a race. I put my money on a horse in the 6pm race on Saturday. I’m still waiting for it to finish and its now Monday! I should have known better than to back a horse called “Striding Snail”

Well, I think they called off the search for my horse when Madness came on stage.

A great 90 minute set by the Nutty Boys. Lynn managed to walk around in odd shoes- one size 1 and one size 6 and with a height difference of 3”. I’m not suggesting she was drunk but…….. For those who have never seen Madness live, you don’t know what you have missed. They are great live- well worth seeing. In fact they even manage to get me dancing – or was that just swaying with the drink.

After the gig, we ended up back with Matt & Lynn at their house devouring a veritable takeaway feast – well Michelle did and I just had a carrot stick and piece of celery as I’m watching my figure.

Back to the hotel and we crashed out immediately we hit the bed. Drunk ( well Michelle was!) happy and tired.

A good night out and one I’d like to repeat again – thanks to all who were with us, Sue &John, Matt & Lynn and of course Tom.

Got to give a special mention to Stewie for being there. Sadly we did not meet up with Dave with whom Stewie was staying and the other Doncaster Mags who were there.

Sunday brought a return home after a stop for the diet breakfast with an extra side of chips at Morrison’s at Boroughbridge. Then of course once back home Michelle did us proud with a great Sunday roast dinner before time for a snooze. Then up early this morning to drive into Newcastle for the 0700 train back to London. (Thanks Michelle for getting up at stupid o’clock to take me to the station – you’re a star)

So, all that travelling – stupidity or Madness

PS Michelle, re this post, “Am I in trouble later?”

PPS If anyone sees my  racehorse looking lost in Doncaster, can you tell it the race is over!