Some times you learn thinks that surprise you. I have learned that this week.
I’ve not actually learned anything new, but have had some truths made clear to me.
Am I making any sense? Probably not, but this is very cathartic.
Anyway, what I am trying to say is that we take other for granted and can fail to realise their true mental state. They appear to their colleagues to be happy, strong & the life and soul of the party. That however is only on the surface.
Tony Hancock is regarded as one of the funniest men to come from these shores, but he committed suicide aged only 44. Many other comedians have been diagnosed with similar disorders. Woody Allen, Jim Carrey, Robin Williams, and David Letterman have all been diagnosed. Owen Wilson attempted to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. None of these people seemed to appreciate how loved and respected they were by others.
There are many other famous people who did not realise how much their talents were appreciated by others.
Paul Gascoigne the footballer is a good example. He has suffered with drink problems and depression, even at the height of his career when he was one of the most popular people in England. Who can forget Italia 1990?
Or what about this goal on 15th June 1996?
Its amazing to think someone so worshipped as Gazza could suffer from a crisis of confidence.
I could produce lengthy lists of famous people who suffer low self esteem, including apparently Diana, Princess of Wales. Its hard to believe someone as beautiful, rich and beloved by many as her could suffer low self esteem.
Bearing the above in mind, can you be certain that pretty girl you know, perhaps at work or elsewhere realises she is beautiful and that you fancy her. She could, despite the bravado be feeling unhappy with her looks. Have you given told her how good she looks today? (This applies the other way as well i.e. men suffer the same low self esteem)
What about at work? You know the bloke you secretly wish you could be more like because of how good they are, how many sales they close or how the children he teaches respect him. He may not realise how respected he is by his peers and what a great teacher he actually is ( again, for he you can also read she). When did you last tell your work colleagues, even the apparently successful ones how well they are doing?
What about parents? The glamorous mother with the model children who are a credit to her? The one who spends lots of quality time with her children and who other children wish was their mother. Yes she may not think she is a good parent and may focus unduly on something she sees as a failing. Does anyone tell them how good a job they are actually doing?
Any of these scenarios ring true?
Perhaps you recognise the situation, but think that you have praised the person for their actions/ talent. Well, you may have praised them verbally, or even by some form of gesture e.g. a gift or something, but communication is more than saying words or making gestures.
To be effective, the form of communication must get through to the psyche of the person in question and make them realise how special they actually are.Look at how you communicate to those around and make sure your message is actually being heard effectively by your intended recipient.
So, today look at your work colleagues and those you come into contact with and try to put yourself in their shoes. Don’t take their exterior projection as being how they feel
If it is you who is feeling unloved, or a failure, then more than likely there is someone, or more than one person who thinks that you are someone very special and who wants to be more like you.