Well, this year at the time of peace on earth and goodwill to all men, that Santa Claus has revealed his evil side.
Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle and simply “Santa“, is a mythical figure with legendary, historical and folkloric origins who, in many Western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children on December 24, the night before Christmas.
So, no doubt you all got lots of nice presents and things you asked for or liked. Well my Christmases have never been like that. When I was 4 years old I asked Santa for a ride on digger. This was the one thing I wanted for a Christmas present.
Did he deliver it? Well actually he did, but it was some 40 years after I asked for it and it was now a matchbox sized toy.
Now like most of you, I always used to ask Santa Claus for a bike for Christmas. Now unlike most of you, I never got that bike for Christmas. Even if I tried to be good, I still never got that bike off Santa Claus. surely I was not always naughty was I? [At this point my parents are shouting – yes he was and my siblings are choking on their wine]
Well, imagine my joy this year at opening a present from my family. It wasn’t a bike, but it was this
Yes, cycling shoes, and they take a cleat that does not fit my existing bike pedals. Could it be that Santa Claus had finally got me a new bike and my family knew about it and had bought me the shoes to match.
Rushing down stairs, excited like a little child on Christmas Day. Well come to think about it, it is Christmas Day. What did I find under the Christmas Tree?
This is what I found
Not one , but 2 bikes, a Dura Ace equipped Carbon Trek and an Alf Webb fixed wheel bike. The cycling shoes fit the pedals on the Trek bike.
Would you not be delighted on Christmas Day?
Well, I’m not, I’m gutted to tell the truth. Why? No, not because its 40 years late – I couldn’t have ridden these bikes 40 years ago!
Well the truth is I did not find these bikes under the Christmas Tree, I found instead pictures of 2 bikes. So whilst everyone else is riding their shiny new bikes up and down the street, (or through the lounge if you are Josh),
I am looking at pictures of bikes and wearing my cleated shoes to Christmas Dinner.
I am convinced that this is Santa Claus’ idea of a sick joke. Giving me shoes and the picture of bikes but not the bikes themselves”!
See, I told you Santa Claus was evil.
Seriously, I am seriously spoilt, getting not one but 2 bikes. They are currently at my parents home awaiting me to collect them. They managed to not only get me a replacement fixed wheel bike for the one stolen a year ago, but also a carbon Dura-ace equipped bike. I can’t wait to get out on them when I get back home. The fixed wheel is to be my work horse for cycling to/ from work. It however looks too good to use as a work horse.
Thanks Mum & Dad, I’ll forgive you and Santa Claus over the digger incident.
Christmas here at Chez Gilhome got off to a worrying start. Firstly, Santa drank so much wine last night that SHE forgot to put the boys Christmas presents under the Christmas Tree didn’t she Michelle? Then we discovered at least 4 bottles of the wine Michelle was drinking last night seem to have disappeared over night.
The turkey is apparently cooking and the vodka is flowing, Her Majesty has given her speech and all is well with the world.
Merry Christmas Everyone